Three reasons why you can never (ever) look at my Sky Planner
3 reasons why you can never (ever) look at my Sky Planner
Don’t get me wrong, I do actually watch some high quality TV. Give me a Line of Duty (god that was a great finale), Homeland, The Missing… but there are occasions when I’m shattered and not in the zone for anything serious. This is when the parts of my Sky Planner that I wish I could keep secret come into their own.
So alongside the endless Rusty Rivets, Sofia the Firsts and a lot of Game of Thrones, sit these: my TV guilty pleasures. Do let me know what yours are - please don’t tell me I’m alone in this?
1. America’s Next Top Model
OK, so the new ‘cycle’ with Rita Ora is a little weird ( the 'be a boss' thing is just so over my head) and I miss Tyra and her endless smizing (she’s back next series though). But regardless, I’ve watched ANTM from the very beginning (2003!) and I’m damned if I’m going to stop now: something interesting might happen. The programme will never live up to earlier series (when Shandi cheated on her boyfriend in a Milan hot tub - now that was drama), but that’s no longer the point. I just want to know if they’ve taken a good photo.
My husband, who usually walks in right when they’re all having some massive screaming barney, rolls his eyes and asks “Why do you watch this crap?”
“For the fashion.” I insist.
2. Revenge Body with Khloe Kardashian
I don’t watch Keeping up the the Kardashians (although as this blog indicates this is only because I haven’t got around to it yet). I’ve recently been on a health kick, so initially I told myself Revenge Body was ‘research’ as it would help pinpoint good diet tips as well as being passive exercise (I wish this was a thing). But basically it is just watching people lose some weight so they can shout ‘screw you’ at people who called them fat. Very satisfying (and moderately inspirational how you can transform yourself in 3 months - not that I’ve done anything about that..)
3. Real Housewives of New York City
I discovered the Real Housewives during a breast-feeding marathon in 2011. I’d ‘completed’ iPlayer - or at least it seemed that way, and ITV Player was my friend in the dead of night. The RHONY (just so much quicker to type) were the perfect way to while away the endless hours.
Essentially the RHONY is TOWIE, but with older crazy rich ladies. I’m left speculating 1) how they all got their money (ex husbands) 2) How they keep their amazing bodies (not eating / plastic surgery) and 3) why I don’t argue with my ‘friends’ more often. There have been a few changes of character, but Countess Luann (Money can’t buy you class is a tune) and crazy-eyes Ramona are still going strong - although I do miss the Jill Zarin days and that big bust-up with Bethenny.
It’s garbage, but it’s my garbage. These are bonkers wealthy ladies who spend all their time going from restaurant to exotic location to exclusive party arguing with each other and drinking epic quantities of Pinot Grigio. Basically they’re my spirit animals.